Life – it’s so weird. Can anyone really know what it’s about or completely control how your life will unfold? This year has been a roller coaster so far. Losing a loved one, to marrying my only love after 16yrs together, and finding out that family and friends are going through some serious illnesses. What can you do but just be grateful for every day we have on this earth? YOLO – it’s an actual ‘thing’. You really do only live once and if we only live once then I want to be happy. Happy with myself and happy with my family and the friends I have in my life. To do this you must understand and remember that no one is perfect. NO ONE – myself included.
Leading up to my wedding, I tried hard to balance everything. I don’t think I succeeded in balancing anything but looking back I’m just happy I got through it. Was I in shape for my wedding – nowhere near where I had planned to be. I’m not happy about it if I’m being honest. Looking at photos I’m ALWAYS critical of myself (I’d say most people are). It’s a process trying to look at myself and be truly happy. I’m not looking for someone to comfort me and tell me I looked beautiful on the day. I appreciate those comments but I’m expressing how I feel because I know I’m not alone. But I’m ok with feeling that way because I know sometimes life has its own plans. Late nights trying to finish assignments or study for exams and doing wedding things meant no early morning trainings. I found it hard to stay focussed some days because I was constantly yawning away. I would train after work but didn’t have much energy to put in the effort and then staying up again would make me hungry again and I would also snack to stay awake. It was an exhausting cycle at times, physically exhausting but I think being mentally and emotionally exhausted was worse. Sometimes the stress and pressure was quite high I would feel helpless like I wasn’t making progress anywhere in my life. Crying sometimes helped and talking it through with my husband who was in the final weeks of his studies so we both were very highly strung at the time. It’s a blessing we made it down the aisle haha.
Am I making excuses? Maybe. I do take responsibility but at the same time I know that to get where I wanted to be – sacrifices in other areas of my life would have had to be made. Putting more attention into one area meant other areas would suffer. I did the best that I could and I’m ok with where I ended up. Healthy, alive, and marrying my best friend. I wasn’t model size but I can appreciate what I went through to get there. We had the most beautiful wedding and just like my life and my body – it wasn’t perfect at all but it was mine and the end goal was to marry my friend and celebrate with our loved ones. We did that and we’re both happy. Memories were made and now goals have been set for our future.
HOLIDAY MODE OVER!
Does anyone go on holiday and then come back struggling to get back into your training and healthy eating routine? I am definitely struggling!!!! I started back at work with great intentions of also starting back with training and eating healthy. Well that was a big fail! I’ve found myself all week thinking of things that I wanted to eat and pig out on before I start eating healthy again. As if those foods are never going to be available to me ever again.
I finally went back to a boxing fitness class with the help of my maid of honour who has gotten back into her training. Boxing is always fun for me so it was good to get a sweat on and hit the bag again. I definitely noticed the extra weight as I tried to bounce around on my toes. I also noticed my upper body fatiguing during the warm up!!! It’s been over 24hrs since that class and I can already feel my upper body muscles feeling the burn – they are in shock lol. I like that sore feeling, it reminds me of what I did and tells me that those muscles were being worked hard.
After not training for over two weeks, the body is going to be shocked this upcoming week. I know to just take it easy and hopefully the fitness will start to build up again and the kgs will start to drop. This weekend is about planning my training and meals for the week. I have a few more weekends before study starts up again so I want to train hard until life gets crazy busy again. I bit the bullet and jumped on the scales this morning. The damage isn’t as great as I had expected and I try not to be obsessed the number on the scales show but it helps me stay on the right path.
I also want to take a “before” photo. The problem with that is I think I’ve taken a million “before” photos! Every time I ask my hubby to take my photo for me he either laughs or complains because he’s sick of taking my ‘before’ photos hahahaha. But the goal is to finally have an “after” photo showing my progress. I may not have had an “after” photo yet, but having “before” photos tells me that I haven’t given up on my goal to be a stronger me! I will keep trying no matter how many “before” photos I take and one day I’ll take another “before” photo and realise that that “before” photo is actually my “after” photo.
Take a selfie and join in with me. I mean what’s the worst that could happen? Starting is always the hardest part! Trust me – I’ve been trying to start for over a week and have failed completely.
It’s time to get ready for summer!!!